Daily Quote 323

The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.
- Henry J. Tillman

Daily Quote 322

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
- Groucho Marx

Daily Quote 321

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
- Don Marquis

Daily Quote 320

Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning.
- Marlo Thomas

Daily Quote 319

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
- Ellen DeGeneres

Daily Quote 318

I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry.
- Randall Jarrell

Daily Quote 317

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Daily Quote 316

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
- Quentin Crisp

Daily Quote 315

What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen?
- Evelyn Waugh

Daily Quote 314

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level.
- Bertrand Russell

Daily Quote 313

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.
- Oscar Wilde

Daily Quote 312

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman

Daily Quote 311

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
- Jane Austen

Daily Quote 310

The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Daily Quote 309

An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
- Evelle J. Younger

Daily Quote 308

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
- George Carlin

Daily Quote 307

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.
- Maurice Maeterlinck

Daily Quote 306

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- Wendell Johnson

Daily Quote 305

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason

Daily Quote 304

I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
- Tom Hanks

Daily Quote 303

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
- Evan Esar

Daily Quote 302

The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.
- Art Spander